Daisee Chain CELERITER VADENDUM, ACRITER SAGITTANDUM

Rating

G

Spoilers

None

---

Avon looked at the board and frowned. He didn't recall being behind in the stakes.

"Jenna," he called, "where did Blake get those other two scores from?"

"The Morlocks came from that underground city. You remember? He taught them how to get to the surface and forage for food?"

"And that counts?"

"Absolutely" chimed in Cally. "They were saved from extinction by their new hunter-gatherer skills, which Blake taught them."

"You wanted to teach them something called C++ as I recall, to help them reprogram their antiquated computer system."

"Which I maintain would have served their purposes far better in the long term."

"Which would have left them starving till they worked out how to get the food production units running again." countered Cally.

"Hmph. I suppose I'll allow it. But what about this one? Who are these... pixels?"

"Pixies." Jenna corrected. "We found them on that planet Cottingley, remember?"

"No."

"But surely you recall them?" asked Cally. "They were very small. We brought them back in one of Vila's equipment containers."

"I recall a lot of dust. That is all."

"Yes," nodded Cally enthusiastically, "that is correct. The Pixies created a lot of magic dust."

"Mag... No. I do not remember any Pixies. Nor was there any magic involved. There was simply a lot of dust. Which I am beginning to realise may have been hallucinogenic."

"Like Cally's Magic Shrooms?" enquired Jenna.

Avon gritted his teeth. "They were not Magic Shrooms. They were Moondiscs."

"Whatever." shrugged Jenna, while flipping her shiny hair over her shoulders. It was her most pointed dismissive gesture, and it set him on edge. "She still gets the point for saving the species."

Avon peered closer at the leader board. He could see a very small mark against Cally's name. He spun back to face the two women, his shoulders squared, his face scrunched in the most terrifying scowl he had yet perfected. "She did not save the species. She only saved an individual speciman!"

"What-Everrr!" Repeated Jenna, and went back to randomly flipping switches on the controls.

Well, maybe slightly less terrifying than he had hoped. He would have to practice in the mirror again later.

"Even allowing for Cally's 'rescue'," and he paused heavily here for effect, only to have it slightly ruined by both women pointedly ignoring him, "it still does not explain how Blake came to be so far ahead in the game."

"Experience." Said Blake firmly, giving Avon a hell of a fright, as he had failed to hear their fearless leader coming onto the flight deck behind him. He spun and took up a fighting stance, knocking Cally's lime green drink into Orac as he did so.

Blake merely assessed the situation coolly, and raised an eyebrow. Avon noted the gesture for future reference and filed it under "Opposition: Dismissal Of". One had to remember these things if one wanted to win. And one did want to win. Very badly. Or rather, one wanted win very well, and more successfully.

"Yes, well it's all very well referring to yourself in the third person like that, but it doesn't make up for your embarrassing showing on the score board, does it?"

Avon went red as he realised he'd uttered his previous paragraph out loud. Deciding that attack was the best form of retreat, or wait, no... was that defence? Er, suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore. He stood very still and stared off into the distance, reciting galaxy sized Prime numbers in his head till it was clear of random thoughts.

"What's up with him?" asked Vila, as he picked his way round the spilled beverage and found a place to slouch.

"Disconcertion." Answered Jenna. "He can't cope with Blake winning."

"Gonna spend a long time looking like he's constipated then." Vila shot back. "Is Blake winning?"

"Of course." Said Blake smugly. "Who else did you think might be?"

Jenna moved over to the board and pinned Blake's picture under the legend 'Saviour of the Month'. Avon scowled some more, just for good measure.

"Isn't that premature?"

"No. We're into a new month now." Jenna replied as she carefully peeled a gold star from its sticky backing and placed it over the image of Blake's head. She studied it intensely for a moment, then peeled a few more stars from their backing and placed them in a halo shape over her beloved's picture.

Blake punched the air and yelled. "Yes! This month's loot is all mine! All! Mine!"

Avon tried not to throw up, as he watched Blake shimmying around the room and singing quietly "Mine, mine, mine, mine." Vila and Cally looked at each other and sighed. It was going to be another long month.

Blake shimmied over to Jenna, put his hands on her waist, and swung her around. "Hey Babeeee," he crooned, "wanna come and play with my jewels?"

Her giggling finally did Avon in. Vila grimaced, and Jenna got up to find a mop and bucket to clean up the mess.

As Avon straightened up, he caught sight once again of the score board. That did it. Come hell or broken internet access, he would do everything in his power to win next month. He was not going to be beaten again to the Employee of the Month award. He really needed that cash prize. Some way. There had to be a way.

He wondered if he still had the email address for the Andromeda Invasion Force?